Browsing "Life-changing Moments"

The Reality of Life

I haven’t posted for a while. Truth is, I’ve been struggling. Times are challenging, confusing and scary.

5 days ago, my beloved Aunt (eldest phupo) unexpectedly and suddenly passed away. She wasn’t unwell, she wasn’t old. Her heart just stopped. It was her time to go, and there was nothing anyone could do to stop it.

These past few days have been especially difficult. I haven’t been able to put into words my feelings. The sudden shock, and realisation that we could leave this world at any time and any place. Of course, I knew that before, and I have felt it before. But new wounds are raw. And we find ourselves having to start healing all over again.
I know that my Phupo is in a better place. I know that she was a wonderful woman of exemplar character. Everyone who knew her loved her. She tried to make everyone feel loved. She wanted everyone to be happy, to laugh, to enjoy life. She never got angry or raised her voice. Her faith in God was firm. She wasn’t scared of death, and she didn’t need to be. She left so peacefully without a single sigh of pain or emotion, shortly after the Adhan for Fajr, her state as a traveller. She came from the UK as a visitor and passed away in Pakistan. Her mother left her 28 years ago, and her yearning to be with her mother was intense. And now, she is buried besides her.
I would appreciate if you could pray a Fatiha and Surah Ikhlas X3 for my Aunty, so that she may be rewarded. May Allah have mercy on her soul, forgive her for her shortcomings, and grant her Jannah al-Firdaus. Ameen.

This photograph is what I believe to be the last sunset my Aunt had witnessed.

Lost Without You

“I never truly understood what the words ‘I miss you’ meant, until I reached for my Mum’s hand and it wasn’t there”…

Almost 6 years on and the pain doesn’t subside. But maybe I don’t want it to, because no pain might mean I’ve forgotten.

But sometimes it’s hard. Excruciating. The wound appears when you least expect it. Tears flow when alone and around others. You hear of others passing away and it brings everything back. You want others to understand so they can understand you, but you don’t want anyone to suffer the loss that you have suffered.

Others can hurt you all they want, but the pain of losing your mother beats them all…

My mother was born here. There is a real sense of calm whenever I visit this place. She played in these streets as a child, she grew up here and walked on these bricks, she touched these walls… This place is peace.

New Experiences, Travel and a World Pandemic

So far, we have had a wonderful time in Pakistan Alhamdulillah! We have visited family and the Urs has passed too. I also went to Lahore (Ichra Bazaar, Packages Mall, Gold Crest Mall and various other places). I had the food I craved whilst in the UK (but isn’t halal over there) – so I can’t complain. As soon as we arrived back from Lahore, we heard that things were going to get shut down because of the coronavirus, covid-19. Within days, the cases increased and cities were being ordered to close everything, with the exception of food/grocery stores and pharmacies/doctors/hospitals. It is so surreal that this is happening, it just doesn’t seem real at all!

SubhanAllah, how something so minute which can’t even be seen with the naked eye has completely shut down the entire world. No matter how powerful man may think he is, Allah has the utmost Power and controls everything. A truly humbling time for all…

As for our stay in Pakistan, it has had to be extended due to the current times. It is scary not knowing when we will be able to go back, and it is difficult to always have to stay indoors, but it is NOTHING compared to the hardship that so many people are facing as a result of this pandemic…It really is so scary and worrying… So many people are ill and dying with the virus, others are trapped in houses with abusers, some are going hungry as they don’t have any money… How can we complain about anything knowing there are others suffering so much more?

In these uncertain times, I hope that everyone is keeping safe and to the government guidelines, and in’sha’Allah we will all overcome this together very soon!